An Insatiable Need
by Craine
Summary: (REWRITTEN!) Sometimes we can't get enough of what hurts us the most.


_**My Little Pony**_

_**An Insatiable Need**_

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_**Okay. So after rereading this weeks after it's initial post, I realized what a pointless, fallible waste of context it turned out to be. Granted I wrote it merely for the hell of it, but we all know how that song and dance goes. To that end, I bring you a snipped, polished and better written result of my most recent improvement crusade.**_

_**Enjoy!**_

_**FUCK the disclaimer! I have enough of those!**_

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There was nothing to say.

With every rev of her sewing machine, Rarity would perceive this as an irrefutable truth. And stitch by stitch, Rarity would guide her thoughts away from the contrary, her focus narrowed upon the dress under her steady craft.

"C'mon, Rare. Ain't y'all gonna talk to me?" came a strangely pleading voice.

There was nothing to say, nothing nice, at least. Again, Rarity directed all thoughts back to her work, eagerly-almost desperately-searching for minute details to pick at. Anything to keep her thoughts from everything else. _Anything_ to keep her thoughts from the damnable apple farmer behind her.

"Listen, Sugarcube. I know this ain't how ya fancied it, but I just-... well, I reckon I would'a missed y'all a mite too much." Rarity could almost detect a butchered apology somewhere in Applejack's excuse. Almost.

"And I suppose that makes it okay?" Rarity's voice was dangerously edged, ready to cut through the bone. "Does the phrase 'once in a lifetime chance' have no meaning?"

Rarity didn't have to turn around to disclose the other mare's shame. She could practically feel it. But somehow, honorable as Applejack may have been, Rarity only acknowledged a selfish wench wasting her breath on useless remits. That alone took whatever constructive focus Rarity had mustered, and shattered it into millions of deadly-sharp, pieces. Pieces that she became all too eager to use.

"Is there something you needed?" Rarity killed her machine, finally turning to Applejack. "Or are you _quite_ finished with your empty apologies?"

Applejack grimaced. No matter how polite or elegant Rarity made herself sound, Applejack could see, hear, taste, smell, _and_ feel every slicing edge of those words. "I... I just swung by to let ya know about Pinkie's party this afternoon," she said, straining to keep eye contact.

Somehow, if even possible, Rarity's destructive glare hardened. "You don't say. And what, pray tell, is the occasion?" she asked, her tone as sharp as ever.

The curse hanging from behind Applejack's lips nearly fell out, but she wisely considered how deep in it she already was. Knowing this, however, didn't make the truth any easier to say. And it showed.

"Pinkie-... Well, ya see-... I-... We-... Ugh." If she could see herself at that moment, Applejack reasoned that she'd keel over and die. "I'm happy ya didn't go. We all are."

Little after Rarity's eyebrows lifted to the heavens did they plummet, etching a seething scowl to her face, "Do you mean to imply that Pinkie is celebrating the utter destruction of all my hopes and dreams, Applejack?" she suggested with a sickly calm air about her.

"It ain't like that, and you _know_ it, Rarity." Applejack's change of tone slipped. But like the truth uttered just moments ago, it could not be undone.

"Isn't it, though? I don't recall a party being thrown in honor of my _departure_," Rarity hissed, her emphasis painful. "Why, if I didn't know any better, I'd say that my so-called 'friends' have had it out for me all along."

Applejack had hoped to avoid this; by the stars above, she would sell her _farm_ if it meant a civilized conversation be salvaged from this visit. But seeing the tint of red stained on Rarity's cheeks? Feeling her own ribcage vibrate with every thump of her heart? Applejack knew that wasn't going to happen.

"That's just stinkin' thinkin'. You know as well I do how much our friends love y-"

"Oh, and don't think _you're _exempt from any guilt, dearest Applejack." Rarity pointed at her fellow mare. "After all, if not for you, and all your foolishness, I'd be in Canterlot _right now_."

By now, Applejack was well aware of her brain's deafening screams for repentance, as well as her heart's deafening screams for retribution. The victor between the two went without saying. "Now **wait** just a hay-pickin' minute here! That train left without ya 'cause you_ let it_. Not like I twisted your _leg_ or nothin'!" Applejack defended.

The red on Rarity's cheeks deepened, and she shouted, "Thats just like you, Applejack! Denying responsibility when this is CLEARLY all your fault!"

"What's your problem, Rarity?!" Applejack demanded.

"You, are! You've _always_ been my problem!" Rarity shouted again. "I had everything I've ever dreamed of lined up in front of me, Applejack! Moving to Canterlot to finally begin my fashion career is what I wanted from the start! But you just couldn't have any of that, could you?!"

Only Applejack's stubborn pride kept her hoof from clutching over her chest. Eyes narrowed and jaw squared, Applejack quickly sifted for a way to end this discussion before it evolved into a full-blow argument. But quickly realized that doing so would involve a lot of lying.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Applejack tried and failed to hide the pain in her voice. "Is that what ya really think? That I went outta my way to sabotage you?"

No matter how much she fought to keep it, Rarity's glare cracked. And, along with it, the dam that held the reservoir in her eyes. "Yes! Why couldn't you just stay at the farm like you said you would?! It was hard enough saying goodbye to the others! Why did _you_ have to show up at the train station and ruin everything?!" Rarity's momentum slowly receded.

Then, Applejack uttered the million bit question, "Why did y'all stay?" Her voice just above a crackle.

Whatever was left of Rarity's glare shattered in an instant, her eyes wide. Applejack's question held an entire universe of meaning, and a maddening lot of answers. But only _one_ of those answers burned at Rarity the most. The one that finally broke the barrier holding her tears. The one that stood right in front of her.

"Get out..." Rarity hissed, gaining a solid sneer in return.

"No. I won't," Applejack bit back.

Rarity choked the sob teetering at her throat with all of her ability, silently cursing the tears rolling off her face. Grudgingly, her steady hoof-steps chipped away at the distance between Applejack and herself, and hoped against hope that she was at least threatening enough make her point.

"You've caused more than enough damage, Applejack," Rarity hissed again, if only to keep that infuriating sob in it's place. "Leave my shop at _once_."

The farmer's stalk-still defiance broke Rarity's glare into a desperate grimace. Still, Rarity persisted. Still, Rarity stepped closer, stopping only when her nose was almost unbearably close to Applejack's.

"I... I can't," was Applejack's only response, her eyes softening, pleading for Rarity's understanding.

In fact, Rarity _did_ receive Applejack's plea, yet she did well to assure the farmer didn't know that. But even that became an insurmountable task for Rarity as her throat and lips trembled from crumbling resolve. "Why are you doing this to me?" Rarity whined, blinded by oncoming tears. "Why can't you just let me go?"

Applejack frowned, mentally cursing the tears threatening to spill from her own eyes, "When I said I'd miss ya too damn much, I meant it. That ain't sayin' I don't want what's best for y'all. Its just that... I..." she miraculously kept the strength in her voice.

Every last word seized Rarity's chest with twists and turns. Just as they had when her train prepared to leave the very same day. Then, just as she'd been during that terrible precipice, Rarity was paralyzed with indecision. The pony before her was the sole cause of her pain, and she knew it well. As sure as the growing puddle of tears below her, Rarity remembered exactly how much she hated Applejack. And, as clear as the tears that finally dampened freckled cheeks, Rarity remembered exactly why she stayed.

"I hate you..." Rarity squeaked.

"I know..." Applejack whispered.

Those words, and the unknowable meaning behind them, pushed orange and white lips into a crushing collision


End file.
